Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I can't possibly bear it.

I've been away for a year and I miss my friends.

I try to resist.

I am engaged.

I want to see you.

I might not care about you.

I am not your first.

I am your first.

I wanted to go away.

I've gone away.



*a small dot makes a huge difference.

Friday, December 25, 2009


(before it's too late)

new school, new adventures

So, I guess I haven't logged in since God knows when. Lot of things going on in my life: starting my freshman year in a new school, making friends in a totally new place, learning new things, studying hard (ok maybe not that hard) for my music lesson, and being in the school's production.

Nothing is so special about starting freshman year in a new school, I got along well with the kids and with the teacher and of course with the subjects (except literature, I'll tell you later about it). Ummm, actually I don't get along that well with the kids. I mean they are nice but they're just....not the kind of kids I used to hang out with. Our dreams are not same, our problems are not same, we're just different. In our previous school, we used to support each other in pursuing our dreams. We are so passionate about them and I felt more.......alive. But getting-along-with-people problem always happen during my first year in new school. So I try as hard as I can to suck it up. It also happened when I started when I was a 7-grader in sanur. It was even worse because of all the racist things. Believe me, racist problem happens everywhere--including at Santa Ursula which people say is the best school which has students with best attitudes.

Anyway, I'm going to tell you about my literature subject. So, obviously English is not my first language. I've never read English fiction books. I've read some English non-fiction books but not fiction because I hate fictions. Then just the first year of year 9 in MSA, I was forced to read thick, 614-paged, heavy, literary, fiction book with difficult vocabs. And guess what's worse, it was all about wars and heroes, the kind of books and movies I hate most. For your information, it was created over 2000 years ago, by a greek poet (I guess) named Homer. The title is The Iliad. I hated it but fortunately we are done with that book, so....no biggie.

Recently, I was part of my school's production. I danced (with a group of friends) on a stage. Before we were up on the stage, we had some make up artists to make us look "more beautiful" or in other words to make us look like mannequins. I've never had my eyes being sticked with fake eyelashes and one of those make up artists sticked a pair of falsies on my eyes. It didn't feel good. I felt like something was poking my eye. My left eye soon became as red as bull's eye. So, I danced on the stage with a burning, irritated, red eye. Tsk.What a shame.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

2008 flashback

Pingin sedikit flashback hehe enakan pake bahasa indonesia aja soalnya susah nulisnya dan biar yang lain ngga males juga bacanya haha. Kelas 8 itu emang kelas paling top ya ngga sih? waktu kelas 7 kan gue baru masuk sanur, temennya belum banyak dan kalo pun ada kebanyakan pada nyebelin, haha no offense ya ppl, biasanya pada ngga tau kok kalo gue sebel sama mereka haha. Waktu kelas 8 gue ganti kelas, ganti temen, tapi ngga ada yang kenal -__- Tapi lama2 jadi punya banyak temen udah gitu ngga nyebelin lagi, seru kan??? Kelas 8 itu taun pertama gue di sanur gue punya temen deket. Hmm, maaf ya kalo kebanyakan nostalgia hehehe. This is for my friends:

1. Inget ngga sih lo waktu kita pulang jam 11.45 tapi ternyata gue ada computer club sampe jam 3 dan ternyata computer club dibatalin, trus pas nunggu dijemput kita kea nari2 nyanyi2 ngga jelas, trus lo ceritanya jadi rihanna kalo ngga salah gue jadi beyonce hahaha. masih inget ngga?

2. Inget ngga sih lo waktu kita nulis cita2 kita trus hal2 konyol lainnya di ms word di computer club instead of doing the assignment? Trus waktu kita ngomentarin guru kita yang botak dan jidat lebar bgt kea lapangan sepak bola? trus kita ngomentarin cheese cake segala macem?

3. Inget ngga sih lo waktu kita ekskul yoga dan pada ngobrol sendiri gitu? Pernah juga kan waktu 1,5 jam kita yoga ngga ngapa2in cuma tidur doang? Trus pada ngomongin kiamat trus gue langsung freaked out hahaha inget ngga?

4. Inget ngga sih gue ulangtaun lo bawain gue cupcake tapi sebelum pulang sekolah lo ngakunya lo lupa bawain gue kado trus gue kira lo marah karena gue ngga mau ngasih lo contekan pr pkn hahaha. Trus waktu pulang sekolah lo nempelin cupcake frosting ke muka gue sampe lengket bgt trus nyiram gue pake teh botol sama fanta kalo ga salah, trus lo beli eskrim cuma buat nempelin eskrimnya ke muka gue, inget ngga? sama abis itu kan pada lengket trus kita mainan air di deket lapangan? dan akhirnya gue ikut computer club dengan bau susu coklat dan lengket banget hahaha. But you know what??? That was the BEST birthday I have ever had. mau diganti sama the fanciest party pun di hotel atau di bali atau even in New York City, kalo ngga surprise ngga bakal seseneng kemaren itu loh.

5. Inget ngga sih waktu gue mau main ke rumah lo trus kita nungguin nyokap lo jemput trus di depan kita ada orang pacaran kita gangguin pake nyanyi2 ngasal "more than words" sampe cowonya bilang "suaranya dikecilin dong," haha inget ngga lo?

6. Inget ngga sih waktu kita pelajaran krisma, lo nungguin gue dijemput nyokap trus kita ngetawain temen yang jatuhin tasnya trus botol minumnya bunyi "gluguk gluguk"? Trus gue ketawa ngga berenti2, lo jadi bingung sendiri?

7. Inget ngga sih waktu kita jalan di pim trus temen kita pulang duluan, trus lo kea ketawa2 ngga bisa berenti pas lagi jalan gara2 gue kalo ngga salah nyamain lo sama model iklan gitu trus gue bilang cowonya itu titik titik trus mungkin karena faktor lain juga kali lo ketawa ngga bisa berenti hehe.

8. Inget ngga waktu kita photobox bertiga trus di dalem photoboxnya itu kita rusuh sendiri trus diliatin aneh gitu sama masnya?

9. Inget ngga sih lo waktu lo backup-in gue waktu ada orang gila kea marah2in gue gitu for no reasons? Lu emang berani bgt tau ngga sih, I wish I could be like you

10. Inget ngga sih waktu ngga ada guru kita dengerin ipod di pojok trus kea ikut2an ngescream gitu dan ada orang yang ngatain kita?

11. Inget ngga sih waktu kita mau konser orchestra trus kita kea didandanin tebel bgt gitu hehe. Trus konser in an orchestra for the first time hehe, inget ngga?

12. Inget ngga sih waktu gue ikut tutor fisika sama lo trus gurunya temen kita juga, trus gue kea ngumpet gitu waktu terlambat masuk tapi akhirnya ketawan karena bu katrin ngeliat gue nungging ngumpet gitu di sebelah meja haha padahal udah berhasil masuk kelas tuh ngga ketawan. Tapi lo mesti liat gaya gue sama temen gue pas mau masuk kelas tanpa ketawan bu katrin hahaha, like a real secret agent.

13. Inget ngga sih waktu kita makan di kelas tapi akhirnya ketawan gara2 gue ngeliatin bu katrin (yang lagi ngeliatin gue) sambil makan kacang santai gitu?

Sebenernya masih banyak bgt tapi kadang gue tiba2 lupa, dan gue juga rada bingung sih nulisnya gimana hehehe. Fyi, dari nomer 1-13 bukan cuma tentang satu orang loh. Semoga ada yang sadar gue ngomongin siapa hehe

Monday, August 17, 2009

Boredom, anyone?

I'm so bored. nothing to do. and I'm sick of surfing the web I just didn't find anything interesting. I haven't got any new dvds. The sad thing is every time I get bored, I always search for food, then I eat so much, then . . . . . . you know what happen next, don't you?

then I made stupid conversation out of famous people's quotes about boredom.

I said . . . .
"I'm bored,"

then Metallica was like saying . . .
"Boredom comes from a boring mind,"

feeling that Metallica was talking about him, George Bush became angry . . . .
"What's wrong with being a boring kind of guy?"

then I felt that I should stop this argument before World War III happens . . . .
"Shut up. Think of something that can banish boredom,"

Suddenly, Ellen Parr said . . . .
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity,"

then I said . . . .
"thank you."

I'm curious. Why are these people bored?
answer: They are bored because they are waiting for Ryan Seacrest to show up.

Well now, I'm looking for troubles. Fyi, I got those quotes from here. (click "here", it's clickable).

Monday, August 3, 2009

"what a revelation? I have no idea." -Drippy, Wild Child

I feel........... kinda lonely AND P A T H E T I C.

My stomach is aching so bad.

There is going to be an exam tomorrow, and if I failed, the school will kicked me out.

This afternoon, I just went to imigration office to make a passport, and there was this fat woman who complained and angry because I didn't lock the door. I said because the door doesn't have a door knob. She kept insisting that the door could have been locked with her super idiot technic but yeah I didn't have time to hear those shit so I just went away leaving her talking alone. Who cares? There's no rule anyway that I should lock the door.

But then, I met this girl at the crossing bridge, she was wearing old dress, and I smiled at her and she smiled at me too. I felt happy because finally I met a nice person.

Now, I feel really saaaaaad :'( All I listen is a song by Taylor Swift "Tear Drops on My Guitar". Yeaah, read the lyric it is so pathetic. But broken heart is never as bad as stomach ache hahaahaha.

I want to sleep, but I can't. Did I mention that I am a nocturnal human. Especially on holidays. These days, I sleep at 1 am and wake up at 12 pm.

I am so bored I don't have anything to do and I didn't go anywhere. I just stay inside the house, watch movies. Sometimes I go to the mall, but malls are boring, or NOT, if you have so much money that you can shop like no one's business. Actually, I prefer going to malls alone. Not with friends, not with parents, I just want to spend time alone, but I feel lonely, but I still want to be alone, but feeling lonely is so uncomfortable, but yeah I still want to be alone. Okay. That's all.

G O O D B Y E to the one who is leaving. I hope I'll see you next year. And I hope no one reads this.

Friday, July 3, 2009

I'm back!

Hey guyssssss, I'm back! I've been so busy recently and haven't got time to post anything or even logged on to my blog, facebook, and twitter.

So, as you all know, this year I'm going to move to another school and I have to join the summer classes in holiday. This is tiring, I have to wake up at 6, go to school like everyday and I get so much homeworks. I even get headache everytime I do math exercises. Fyi, for the summer classes I took literature, grammar, and math. In literature, we get to write paragraphs or essays, like persuasive paragraph, expository paragraph, etc. It's kinda fun, though, we use our imagination. In grammar, we classify words into verb transitive, subject noun, OCN, preposition, object preposition, and so on. It's something I haven't learnt before. We learn algebra in math, quite confusing, but I've learnt it last year so it wasn't so much problems, but problem solving is the worst because I don't get the languages they used.

Anyway, I miss my friends so much. And recently I faced a super serious problem that can risk your loved one's life. But it's over anyway, so.... not a big deal. But seriously guys, that problem had really made me depressed, hmm not exactly depressed (I think depressed is a little bit too overated) but extremely sad. Ergh, it's over though why should I even think about it?

Now, I'm a little bit scared of starting new year in the new school. I am scared that I couldn't get good grades, I am scared that I couldn't manage my time, I am scared that I wouldn't have friends, I am scared that I'm going to miss my friends so bad. But I've been through that kind of things before, so, why should be scared? I am still scared, though.